


i still love you, i promise

by ben_wheeeee



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Minor Character Death, winifred is back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:07:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27444619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ben_wheeeee/pseuds/ben_wheeeee
Summary: this story is based off of the song “I miss you, I’m sorry”. i was listening to it on repeat one day and boom this happenedalso, i didn’t want to kill off said character, but we need the angst :(
Relationships: Anne Shirley & Everyone, Gilbert Blythe & Delphine Lacroix & Sebastian "Bash" Lacroix, Gilbert Blythe & Sebastian "Bash" Lacroix, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	1. i miss you, im sorry

**Author's Note:**

> this story is based off of the song “I miss you, I’m sorry”. i was listening to it on repeat one day and boom this happened 
> 
> also, i didn’t want to kill off said character, but we need the angst :(

Anne and Gilbert were making their way home from their study group for the Queen's entrance exams. Anne decided to walk over to Gilbert’s house since Marilla was already there tending to Delphine. After Mary’s death, Marilla has weakened with all the work she did around the house. Anne planned to start caring for Delphine soon, but she was too caught up with school and the newspaper.

“Are you sure about taking care of Delphine? You already have so much to do with the Avonlea Gazette.” Gilbert asked Anne as they walked towards his home.

“Yes, Gilbert. You both need my help. Especially Bash. He’s in the depths of despair.” Anne replied. Bash was never the same after Mary passed away. Like Anne said, he was in the depths of despair. He excluded himself from everything. It’s understandable that he needs some alone time, but it’s been weeks. They missed the cheerful Bash he was.

They nearly approached the front door until they heard a crash from the barn.

Bash.

Anne and Gilbert rush into the barn where Bash was passed out on the golden straws of hay. Gilbert quickly checked for breathing as Anne fetched a pail of water. “C‘mon Bash, wake up!” Gilbert exclaimed. Marilla runs into the scene, flour falling from her apron.

“Oh my! What happened?” Marilla asks, waiting for an answer from either of the two.

“We heard a loud noise. It sounded like something had fallen.” Anne examines the barn to find a fallen ladder. “Bash must’ve fallen off the ladder and hit his head. Will he wake, Gilbert?”

“I’m not sure. We need a doctor. Ms. Cuthbert, may you and Matthew fetch a doctor from Charlottetown?” Gilbert asks, looking for damage on Bash’s head. Marilla nods and looks over at Anne for confirmation if she was going to go along with her. Anne shakes her head repeatedly.

“No. I can’t leave him like this. We’ll do the best we can. Go, Marilla. And hurry!” Marilla rushes out of the barn, heading towards Green Gables. Anne and Gilbert carry Bash into the home resting him on his bed. Anne places a wet cloth across his forehead while Gilbert checks his temperature.

Anne was trembling. She couldn’t bear seeing Bash like this. And Delphine. _Delphine_. What would happen to her? Marilla was already tired of babysitting her for weeks now. Who would care for her now? Anne must be responsible after all.

Later that night, Matthew and Marilla arrive along with Doctor Ward, who quickly tended to Bash who never woke up since his fall. Anne tends to Delphine while Marilla cooks up some food for the boys.

Anne gave Delphine her bottle as she slowly nested her to sleep. Gilbert watched as he thought about Delphine’s future. Would she become an orphan just like him and Anne? _Delphine doesn’t deserve any of this_ , Gilbert thought.

Doctor Ward walks out of Bash’s bedroom and everyone, including Matthew who was half asleep, stood up to hear the news. “Sebastian has a severe brain injury. Thankfully, he didn’t suffer through a stroke.” Marilla sighed with relief. “But that doesn’t mean he won’t.” Marilla’s eyes filled with tears once again. Gilbert ran his fingers through his curls. Anne noticed how stressed he was. She slips her hand into his, their fingers now intertwined. She squeezed his hand which gave Gilbert some hope. A sign that everything will be okay.

A day passed, and Bash had awoken from his slumber. Anne went over to visit. She told Marilla she wanted to go alone so she won’t burst into tears in front of everyone. Gilbert was in the kitchen with Delphine in his lap. He looked happier than before. She was happy for him. “Good morning, Gilbert and Delphine!” Anne greeted them with a soft smile as she hanged her coat. They greeted her back, though Delphine’s was more baby talk.

Anne made her way into Bash’s room. He was sitting against his pillow with his blanket tucked over him. “Anne! It’s so good to see you.” Anne pulled over a chair after giving Bash a warm hug.

“How are you feeling?” Anne asked, placing her hand in his.

“I suppose i’m alright, based on what the doctor said. But i’ll miss you.” Bash answered. Anne gave him a puzzled look.

“Hey! Don’t say that. You’re going to be okay.” Anne squeezed his hand tight.

“Anne,” Bash gazed deep into Anne’s blue eyes. “Please tell me you’ll watch over Delphine.” Anne was about to interrupt until Bash raised his hand in a motion to stop. “If anything happens, I need to know that you’ll be there for her.”

“Bash, how many times am I going to tell you to stop saying that? And of course I'll watch over Delphine. She means so much to me and everyone else. Don’t worry about her. She’ll be okay and so will you.” Anne places her other hand over his, bringing it close to her face, silently praying.

Gilbert disrupts their silent prayer, knocking on the door quite slowly. Anne looked up at him as he stared into her eyes, giving her a signal to make her way out of the room. She gives Bash another hug, leaving the boys alone and tending to Delphine.

Gilbert takes a seat on the same chair Anne was on, which felt warm against his legs. He looks up at Bash who has a wide grin across his face. “You better make a move on Anne once I'm gone.”

“Bash!” Gilbert chuckles as a warm feeling brews up inside his heart. He smiles at Bash who’s grin has faded away. “Bash… Promise me you won’t leave.” Tears swell in Gilbert’s eyes as he pleads. “I can't stand the feeling of losing someone else. I- I can't. Please Bash.” Gilbert stutters. “Don’t leave- don’t leave me.” Tears stream down his cheeks as Bash pulls him into a hug.

“I’ll always be here, Gil. I promise.”

Sebastian’s funeral was a week later. He suffered a stroke in his sleep, causing Gilbert to find him breathless on his bed.

Gilbert never left his room after Bash was buried. All his guests were on the floor below him, munching on some baked goods Marilla had made. Anne wondered why Gilbert wasn’t at the gathering. Everyone expected him there. She crept up the steps knocking quietly on his door. “Gilbert?” No answer. She knocked once more until she cracked the door open. “Gilbert, everyone’s ask-”

His room was a disturbing mess. Books and pillows scattered the floor with Gilbert crouched up in the corner, hands digging into his hair. Anne’s eyes filled with tears as Gilbert gazed up at her. His tears poured out of his eyes. He quickly got up as Anne approached him and wrapped her into a tight hug. Anne threw her arms around his neck, letting out a shuddering sigh. Gilbert let out a sob, squeezing Anne even more. “He promised me! He said he wouldn’t go. He promised!”

Anne cried even more as he spoke. Her hand stroked his fluffy hair, which comforted him. “I miss him, too. It’s okay.” They sobbed into each other’s shoulder, until they slowly parted. Anne cupped his cheeks, wiping away his tears. “He’s with Mary now.” She gave Gilbert a smile and intertwined her fingers with his. “Come. Everyone’s worried about you.” Gilbert nods, taking in a deep breath. They made their way out of the room and down the steps to greet the guests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry :(


	2. you said forever, and i almost bought it

A day passed and Anne and Gilbert were still mourning. That day, Gilbert woke early and began to work around the farm. He needed a way to take his anger out.

Anne also had woken up early that day. She planned on taking care of Delphine from now on. Anne kept her promise to Bash. She wasn’t going to leave Delphine’s side, even if she was as old as Marilla, who decided to take some time to rest after her busy weeks with little Delly.

Anne reached the Blythe farm and noticed Gilbert working hard on the farm. Anne gave a puzzled look to herself. He seemed to be hoeing the dirt pretty fast and violently. He suddenly stopped and looked over his shoulder to find Anne gazing at him out on the field. Anne waved over at Gilbert, but he didn’t wave back. He dropped his hoe and collapsed onto the floor. “Gilbert!!” Anne screamed, dropping her basket as she sprinted across the field. Gilbert was covered in sweat and dirt, his face red as a radish. She bent down next to him, placing his head on her lap. “Wake up, Gilbert, wake up!” Tears streamed down Anne’s cheeks as she cried for help. No one was around, but she still screamed. She got up to fetch a pail of water and a cloth to cool off Gilbert’s temperature by placing it on his forehead. Thank god, he was still breathing or Anne was never sure what she would do.

The sound of a horse approached Anne’s ears. She looks over her shoulder to find Matthew and Marilla stepping off their carriage and running toward her. “Oh thank god you’re here! He’s still breathing but he won’t wake up. I think he passed out due to all this heat. We need to get him to Doctor Ward, quick!”

Matthew nodded and picked up the poor boy from the ground and walked over to the carriage. Marilla and Anne follow behind, panting. They take a seat as Gilbert is rested on the back of the carriage where Matthew’s tools were also located. Anne decided to sit there as well, resting his head over her lap. She stroked his curls as they set off into Charlottetown.

Gilbert wakes up in Doctor Ward’s office with his hand intertwined with Anne’s. Anne’s eyes spark once he wakes. “Gilbert! Oh, are you alright? You overworked yourself earlier. Look I understand you’re still grieving, but you shouldn’t hurt yourself like that. Please, that’s all I ask for.” Anne squeezed his hand as he sat up on the bed he was on.

“I’m fine, Anne. Is Marilla with Delphine?” Gilbert asked, worry filling his eyes.

“Yes. Matthew gave us enough money to take the train back home, so don’t worry about that either.” Anne gave him a warm smile. Gilbert gave her a little smile, which warmed Anne’s heart. He was finally smiling again.

Anne helped Gilbert walk out of the doctors office. Though, he made a stop once he locked eyes with Winifred Rose, who worked at the front desk. “Feeling better already, Mr. Blythe?” She gave him a wide cheeky grin.

“Much better. Thank you for everything.” Gilbert grinned back giving Anne twisted feelings. They continued to chat until Anne interrupted.

“I’m sorry, but Gilbert needs to get as much rest as he _possibly_ can, so if you don’t mind, we’ll be on our way.”

Anne has decided to stay at Gilbert’s house for a while until they’re back on their feet. She wasn’t planning on leaving either. Gilbert awoke to the smell of eggs that Anne had boiled. She got up early that day, making sure Delphine’s bottle was ready for when she woke. Anne turned to find Gilbert by the door. He was a mess. He had purple eye bags and his hair was a storm of curls. “Gilbert! You’re awake. I hoped you’d come down soon. Delphine’s asleep so i thought i might… make some breakfast for… the both of us.” Anne gestured toward the table all set up.

“Thank you, Anne, but I don’t think i’ll need your help anymore, if you know what I mean.” Gilbert let out a sigh, like all his feelings that were bottled up have finally spilled.

“So you’re feeling better? Gosh, Gilbert, I’m happy for you! But if you remember, I still have to take care of Delphine.” Anne chuckles. “I can't break Bash’s promise.”

“Well he broke mine, so i’m sure it doesn’t matter.” Gilbert ran his fingers through his messy hair.

“Gilbert, how could you say that? It was never his intention to leave-”

“Anne. I think you’ve cared enough for Delphine and I. Thank you...for everything.” Gilbert doesn’t look at Anne’s gaping face. He stares at his boots, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Gilbert, i’m not leaving. No matter what you say. What were you going to do if I left? Who was going to help you then? Little miss perfect Winifred Rose?” Gilbert was silent, though he swallowed so hard that he thought the whole world could hear him. “You’re serious…” Anne’s face dropped.

“She’s only coming to help, Anne-”

“I saved your life Gilbert!” Anne raised her voice. Delphine was still asleep but she couldn’t care less right now. Gilbert was acting so horrible towards her. “If I wasn’t there for you, you would’ve died! Three deaths back to back. How wonderful, ay? Gilbert, I was here for you this whole time and _this_ is how you treat me?” Anne’s eyes began to burn with anger.

“Don’t you have the Avonlea Gazette to write?” Gilbert said, trying to change the subject.

“I’m not part of the newspaper anymore, Gilbert.”

“What? Why not?” Gilbert questioned.

“Because, Gilbert! You need me here and without me who will watch over Delphine?” Anne’s eyes began to tear up. “Oh right. There’s Winifred. I guess I don't matter anymore, do I?”

“Anne, you’ve cared enough. I think I can handle it from here. You need to study for Queens.”

“I’m not going to Queens!” Gilbert gives off a startled expression. “I quit everything just for you, Gilbert! Why can’t you understand that?” Tears sprung out of her crystal blue eyes.

“Why would you quit everything for _me_?” Gilbert’s eyebrows furrowed together, his voice slightly raised.

“Because I love you! Gilbert, I love-” Her confession was rudely interrupted by a beautiful presence of Winifred. Anne wiped away her tears as Gilbert kept his gaze on her.

“Hello everyon-” Winifred was startled at the scene she walked into. “I’m sorry, have I Interrupted something?” Gilbert never removes his sight from Anne. Anne removes her apron, placing it on the table.

“No- no. Not at all. I was just leaving.” Anne takes one last breath before making her way out of the house. “Delphine’s bottle is ready for when she wakes. After all, I suppose it’s up to you now, isn’t it?” Anne snaps, eyeing Winifred. She walks past the table, brushing against Gilbert to make her way towards the back entrance. Gilbert doesn’t run after her. He can’t. It was all his fault anyway. Running after her would make things worse.

Anne was trembling. She runs, runs, runs, until she reaches nowhere. She crumbles to the ground, letting out a sob. Gilbert Blythe just kicked her out after she told him she loved him. She _loved_ him. Did he not realize that? Of course he didn’t. “Such a ridiculous, hateful, evil little boy!” Anne shrieks at the top of her lungs. She throws her hat on the ground and digs her nails through her braids, letting them loose. She tucks her knees close to her face and sobs against them. It was only Anne now. Just Anne. In the middle of the forest while tears poured out of her eyes. _That’s all then,_ Anne thought. _Gilbert doesn’t love me. And that’s all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰ i don’t know 🤔 what to believe 💯


	3. everything i know brings me back to us; everywhere i go leads me back to you

Gilbert hasn’t seen Anne since her sudden confession. He needed to be alone, which also meant that he didn’t want to see Winifred either. It was hard keeping up with Delphine alone. Anne was right. Without her, he was nothing. Her apron still sat on the table. Anne’s word’s lingered in his ears everyday. “ _I love you._ ” _Anne loves me_ , he thought. He wanted to see her face, her fiery red hair, her.

Anne never stepped out of her room. Even when Diana paid a visit. She was in the depths of despair and couldn’t handle any conversation. “Anne, I’m off to check on Delphine. Would like to join me?” Marilla asks behind Anne’s door. Anne couldn’t say no. She promised Bash. And Anne isn’t one to break promises.

As Marilla and Anne approach Gilbert’s house, Anne hesitates. She needed a breather before seeing a boy who crushed her heart to a million pieces. Marilla went ahead as Anne followed behind. They walked into a horrifying kitchen. Dishes were piled up in one corner while dish rags scattered the floor. Gilbert couldn’t help but stare deep into Anne’s presence. Anne didn't dare to look up at him. “Oh, thank goodness, Ms. Cuthbert.” Gilbert exclaims with Delphine cradled in his arms. “She won’t stop crying. I- I tried everything.” Gilbert’s gaze was still glued onto Anne as Marilla took Delly from Gilbert’s arms.

Anne stares down at the dish rag by her shoe. She bends down to pick it up and finds another one by Marilla. She picks that one up as well until she notices another by Gilbert’s boot. Her hand reaches over to pick it up, but she pulls away quickly, picking up the rest of the rags. She didn’t look once into Gilbert’s desperate eyes. Only until she was left alone at the garden, picking out her favorite flowers.

Gilbert watched from behind, Anne’s hair falling across her shoulders like sparks of fire. Anne turns to leave, but Gilbert had to be there. He had to be there to block her way, making her drop her flowers. He had to be there to make her look into his gorgeous copper eyes once again. Anne pulls her eyes away from his, trying to walk past him. Gilbert wraps his fingers around her wrist, stopping Anne from leaving.

“Let me go, Gilbert.” Anne whispered, staring down at her shoes.

“Anne, look at me.” Anne refuses, keeping her gaze on the soil beneath them. “Just once, Anne. _Please_.” Anne tilts her head up and her whole body shivers. His eyes sent a wave of warmth through her body. She never felt such warmth before. It felt… good. “Anne, I truly am sorry. I never imagined you’d be the first to say how you felt towards me.” Anne gave him a puzzled look.

“You feel something for… _me_?” Anne whispered, her eyes burning back the tears.

“Anne, none of this happened in the way I wanted it to. You were working so hard for Delphine and I, I thought maybe you needed some time away. But I was wrong. Anne, I _need_ you.” Anne’s eyes widened. “Without Bash or Mary nothing goes on around the house. But you. You.” Gilbert chuckles. “You have this energy that could make anyone smile, even during the worst times imaginable.” Gilbert slowly releases his grasp on Anne’s arm, expecting her to rush back into the house. Anne doesn’t move, though. Her eyes stay glued to his.

“Gilbert, I could never get tired of caring for Delphine. It's my responsibility. She means the world to me. And-” Anne stutters. Their faces were so close she couldn’t stop but stare at his luscious lips. “And so do you.” Gilbert notices her eyes shifting from his lips to his eyes.

_“You better make a move on Anne once I'm gone.”_

Gilbert cups her cheek, crashing down onto her soft, pink lips. Warmth bursts all throughout Anne’s body. She didn’t want him to kiss her at first, but then she realized that she did. She realized that he was sorry. Slowly, Anne brings her hands up around his neck, running her fingers through his curls as she presses back.

It was a needy kiss. Light and gentle, yet passionate and fierce. Gilbert’s hands traveled down to Anne's waist, pulling her even closer. Anne’s hands kept digging through his soft curls. They never intended to let go until they were left breathless. They pressed their foreheads against each other, eyes shut and hands still placed where they were before. “I know I broke your heart, but I love you, too, Anne. I wish I told you sooner so you’d still be in love with me.” Gilbert said, his breath hot against her face.

Anne smiles, pulling him into a hug and snuggling into the crook of his neck. “I still love you, I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> i added other parts of the song in the story as well:  
>  “Running after her would make things worse.” -connects to- “I don’t wanna go, think i’ll make it worse.”   
> “Anne, none of this happened in the way I wanted it to.” -connects to- “Nothing happened in the way i wanted” 
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoyed! feel free to leave a kudos and comment:)


End file.
